5. Earlier, when I put "5 minutes later", my next sentence really was written five minutes later. No lie.
This is a hard one to elaborate on, but I think I'll talk about the importance of truth. The only thing we can totally control in our life is what we say and what we believe. Every morning when we wake up, we each have a decision to make. You can choose to speak kind words. You can choose to tell the truth. You can choose to keep it real. Remember that everything you say is a relection of your character, who you are. Choose your words carefully and decide to be a blessing to someone every day. You never know when you're going to change someone's life! (:
Hope you have had a fabulous weekend! Remember as we head into the week of Thanksgiving to tell the people love that you love them. Be a source of light for others. I am thaknkful for you (:
With Love,
Sarah
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Thursday, November 17, 2011
11.17.11
4. I've watched This is It three times this weekend. Three! It's been on TV twice and I watched it once in between. Nothing makes me happier than an MJ song. Nothing.
"But I could have told you Vincent, this world was never meant for one as beautiful as you." -Vincent
I firmly believe in the validity of this statement. In case you've never heard it, this song by Don McLean was written and inspired by Van Goh. He talks about the genuis of his art, the scrutiny he lived under, the pressure put on him, and his own suicide. This line from the song has always fascinated me. I am a shades of gray person. I seem to always see everything a little bit differently. And apparently so does Don McLean.
I think Michael Jackson was one of those people that was just too beautiful for this world. From the age of five, his entire life was about pleasing others. He was a little boy living a working adult's life. Valued for what he could produce, not who he truly was. We have seen the effects of this lifestyle on many so called child stars. Brooke Shields, Elizabeth Taylor, Macully Culkin. All who were very close friends of Michael's. Despite his family's motives, a child is meant to play with dolls and go to school. Get good grades and do their chores. Not go to a recording studio, lay down a few tracks, fly accross the country to promote an album, fly back, and go to bed. Even though my ability to truly be an adolescent was cut short, I had an amazingly blessed childhood just by the simple fact that I got to have one. And for that I am truly grateful.
Michael's lifestyle was unorthodox to say the least. His life was plagued with scandal. From reports of sleeping in an oxygen chamber, bleaching his skin, plastic surgery, failed romances. You have to wonder how one person could deal with such scrutiny. So many vile words spoken against you can alter your entire psyche in a profound way. Enter shades of gray.
I have chosen to see him for who I believe he really was. An artist. Just like Van Goh. It always seems that those among us blessed with the ability to change the world are the ones whose lives are cut tragically short. Martin Luther King Jr. John Lennon. John F. Kennedy. Every one of these people changed the world in a profound way, brought something different to the table. Maybe in 1960's America, we weren't ready for these types of change. But, I would hope that in today's time, we would be open minded enough to accept the message Michael tried to evince. I think the tragedy of Michael's life was that people didn't appreciate him until after he was gone. Yes, he has the best selling record of all time. Yes, he sold over 140 million albums. Yes, he won award after award. These accomplishments don't even touch on the amazing impact his music and message has had on this world. Not concrete, but abstract. My favorite MJ song, behind Human Nature, is Heal the World. It is not his most well known song, but I have to believe that the person who wrote these beautiful lyrics had something to share with the world. You have the choice to believe what you want about him. You can listen to the tabloids, or you can listen to this song. Listen to the words and take them to heart. Maybe, just maybe, you can heed his advice and make a little room to make the world a better place. It starts with you. Choose to see the shades of gray. Honor his memory and open your mind. You may be surprised by what you have the capacity to understand.
"Children show me in their playful smiles the divine in everyone. This simple goodness shines straight from their hearts and only asks to be lived." -Michael Jackson
With Love,
Sarah
"But I could have told you Vincent, this world was never meant for one as beautiful as you." -Vincent
I firmly believe in the validity of this statement. In case you've never heard it, this song by Don McLean was written and inspired by Van Goh. He talks about the genuis of his art, the scrutiny he lived under, the pressure put on him, and his own suicide. This line from the song has always fascinated me. I am a shades of gray person. I seem to always see everything a little bit differently. And apparently so does Don McLean.
I think Michael Jackson was one of those people that was just too beautiful for this world. From the age of five, his entire life was about pleasing others. He was a little boy living a working adult's life. Valued for what he could produce, not who he truly was. We have seen the effects of this lifestyle on many so called child stars. Brooke Shields, Elizabeth Taylor, Macully Culkin. All who were very close friends of Michael's. Despite his family's motives, a child is meant to play with dolls and go to school. Get good grades and do their chores. Not go to a recording studio, lay down a few tracks, fly accross the country to promote an album, fly back, and go to bed. Even though my ability to truly be an adolescent was cut short, I had an amazingly blessed childhood just by the simple fact that I got to have one. And for that I am truly grateful.
Michael's lifestyle was unorthodox to say the least. His life was plagued with scandal. From reports of sleeping in an oxygen chamber, bleaching his skin, plastic surgery, failed romances. You have to wonder how one person could deal with such scrutiny. So many vile words spoken against you can alter your entire psyche in a profound way. Enter shades of gray.
I have chosen to see him for who I believe he really was. An artist. Just like Van Goh. It always seems that those among us blessed with the ability to change the world are the ones whose lives are cut tragically short. Martin Luther King Jr. John Lennon. John F. Kennedy. Every one of these people changed the world in a profound way, brought something different to the table. Maybe in 1960's America, we weren't ready for these types of change. But, I would hope that in today's time, we would be open minded enough to accept the message Michael tried to evince. I think the tragedy of Michael's life was that people didn't appreciate him until after he was gone. Yes, he has the best selling record of all time. Yes, he sold over 140 million albums. Yes, he won award after award. These accomplishments don't even touch on the amazing impact his music and message has had on this world. Not concrete, but abstract. My favorite MJ song, behind Human Nature, is Heal the World. It is not his most well known song, but I have to believe that the person who wrote these beautiful lyrics had something to share with the world. You have the choice to believe what you want about him. You can listen to the tabloids, or you can listen to this song. Listen to the words and take them to heart. Maybe, just maybe, you can heed his advice and make a little room to make the world a better place. It starts with you. Choose to see the shades of gray. Honor his memory and open your mind. You may be surprised by what you have the capacity to understand.
"Children show me in their playful smiles the divine in everyone. This simple goodness shines straight from their hearts and only asks to be lived." -Michael Jackson
With Love,
Sarah
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
11.16.11
Sorry for the missed day! I'll be playing catch up!
2. I have an insanely stressful project in the works right now. I had to read Wuthering Heights. If you are ever faced with the choice of reading that book or spraying an angry lion in the eyes with pepperspray, pick the lion. You might die, but at lest you won't have to have read this ridiculous travesty of a book. Two more days and it's over!
It's officially over! The project is through and I'm never giving a second thought to Wuthering Heights. Ever. Our presentation went relatively well. It was as boring as all get out, but so was everyone else's presentation. I'm really glad that if I had to do that awful presentation, I did it with the girls in my group. Thank you Sarah, Jen, Liz, A Lo, Paniah, and Sakaiya for making that project bearable. we did it! Now, on to the next project.... wish me luck!
3. My mom just called me from downstairs to ask what I was doing. She then asked if I would come downstairs and hang with her. I wouldn't trade moments like this for anything. She is my hero. I'm the luckiest girl
What can I say? My mom is my absolute hero. Everything I've learned about being strong, I've learned from her. She has done an amazing job raising her girls. She has been with me through every single crappy thing I've faced in seventeen years and every single happy moment as well.
On May 16, 2008 I sat in an orthopedic surgeon's office and was told that I had a malignancy that appeared to be Eewing's Sarcoma. The last thing they did before I left was an X-ray. I layed down on the table in that ridiculous piece of paper that they qualify as a gown, tears streaming from my eyes into my ears, soaking my hair. My mom sat down beside me, took my hand, and told me I would be riding bikes with Lance Armstrong after this was over. I will remember that moment for the rest of my life. Three years later. My mom still provides me with every single bit of strength I have each day. I can only hope that if God's plan for me is to have or adopt children, that I can provide the same kind of example for my kids as my mom has provided for me. I don't know what kind of mom I will be, but I absolutely know that those kids will have the best Nana in the world, behind me of course (: I love you mom! Thanks for your example and unconditional love! Because of you, I'll be riding bikes with Lance Armstrong!
I love my mother as the trees love water and sunshine- she helps me grow, prosper, and reach new heights" -Terri Guillimetes
A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts. ~Washington Irving
2. I have an insanely stressful project in the works right now. I had to read Wuthering Heights. If you are ever faced with the choice of reading that book or spraying an angry lion in the eyes with pepperspray, pick the lion. You might die, but at lest you won't have to have read this ridiculous travesty of a book. Two more days and it's over!
It's officially over! The project is through and I'm never giving a second thought to Wuthering Heights. Ever. Our presentation went relatively well. It was as boring as all get out, but so was everyone else's presentation. I'm really glad that if I had to do that awful presentation, I did it with the girls in my group. Thank you Sarah, Jen, Liz, A Lo, Paniah, and Sakaiya for making that project bearable. we did it! Now, on to the next project.... wish me luck!
3. My mom just called me from downstairs to ask what I was doing. She then asked if I would come downstairs and hang with her. I wouldn't trade moments like this for anything. She is my hero. I'm the luckiest girl
What can I say? My mom is my absolute hero. Everything I've learned about being strong, I've learned from her. She has done an amazing job raising her girls. She has been with me through every single crappy thing I've faced in seventeen years and every single happy moment as well.
On May 16, 2008 I sat in an orthopedic surgeon's office and was told that I had a malignancy that appeared to be Eewing's Sarcoma. The last thing they did before I left was an X-ray. I layed down on the table in that ridiculous piece of paper that they qualify as a gown, tears streaming from my eyes into my ears, soaking my hair. My mom sat down beside me, took my hand, and told me I would be riding bikes with Lance Armstrong after this was over. I will remember that moment for the rest of my life. Three years later. My mom still provides me with every single bit of strength I have each day. I can only hope that if God's plan for me is to have or adopt children, that I can provide the same kind of example for my kids as my mom has provided for me. I don't know what kind of mom I will be, but I absolutely know that those kids will have the best Nana in the world, behind me of course (: I love you mom! Thanks for your example and unconditional love! Because of you, I'll be riding bikes with Lance Armstrong!
I love my mother as the trees love water and sunshine- she helps me grow, prosper, and reach new heights" -Terri Guillimetes
A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts. ~Washington Irving
Monday, November 14, 2011
11.14.11
Hello beautiful! How was your Monday? I hope it was fantastic. Just like you!
So, my list of random facts last night was a great way to get back into my blog. Now, in order to force myself to write even just a little bit every day, I'm going to elaborate on all thirteen points. If they're good enough to make the list, I think they each deserve their own post (:
1. I bought myself a present on Saturday. Michael Buble's new Christmas CD. I'm in love.
Okay, so this CD has been playing over and over in my car since Friday night. It's so fabulous! Two of the greatest things ever: Michael Buble and Christmas music. What could be better?
I'm so excited to be heading into my absolute favorite time of the year. There's just someting about winter. When you walk outside and the wind is so cold it takes your breath. That first Christmas song that you hear. Decorating the tree. Watching How the Grinch Stole Christmas and Frosty the Snowman. Making sugar cookies for Santa and leaving a carrot for Rudolph. Reading the Christmas story in the Bible. Snuggling into bed on Christmas Eve with an indescribable peace in your heart. Everyone has a little more joy in their hearts around the holidays. You hold the door open for people. You smile at the bell ringers outside of stores. You donate that one dollar to St. Judes. And it's all because of a baby born thousands of years ago, in a manger in Bethlehem. As you celebrate Jesus birth this year,remember to the common thread that holds the entire human race together. We were all created to glorify Him, put on this earth to be a shining light for Him. Be specially thankful for those in your life that have accepted this calling and work on the hearts of those that you know have not. Put some extra Christmas cheer in your pocket. And keep it with you all year long.
Listen to this. Drive to store. Buy CD
PS: I'm super excited. I just embedded a video all by myself! For the win!
With Love,
Sarah
So, my list of random facts last night was a great way to get back into my blog. Now, in order to force myself to write even just a little bit every day, I'm going to elaborate on all thirteen points. If they're good enough to make the list, I think they each deserve their own post (:
1. I bought myself a present on Saturday. Michael Buble's new Christmas CD. I'm in love.
Okay, so this CD has been playing over and over in my car since Friday night. It's so fabulous! Two of the greatest things ever: Michael Buble and Christmas music. What could be better?
I'm so excited to be heading into my absolute favorite time of the year. There's just someting about winter. When you walk outside and the wind is so cold it takes your breath. That first Christmas song that you hear. Decorating the tree. Watching How the Grinch Stole Christmas and Frosty the Snowman. Making sugar cookies for Santa and leaving a carrot for Rudolph. Reading the Christmas story in the Bible. Snuggling into bed on Christmas Eve with an indescribable peace in your heart. Everyone has a little more joy in their hearts around the holidays. You hold the door open for people. You smile at the bell ringers outside of stores. You donate that one dollar to St. Judes. And it's all because of a baby born thousands of years ago, in a manger in Bethlehem. As you celebrate Jesus birth this year,remember to the common thread that holds the entire human race together. We were all created to glorify Him, put on this earth to be a shining light for Him. Be specially thankful for those in your life that have accepted this calling and work on the hearts of those that you know have not. Put some extra Christmas cheer in your pocket. And keep it with you all year long.
Listen to this. Drive to store. Buy CD
PS: I'm super excited. I just embedded a video all by myself! For the win!
With Love,
Sarah
Sunday, November 13, 2011
11.13.11.
Hey, love. Anyone there? If you're not, it's okay. I haven't been here in a long time. Now, usually I would feel really terrible about myself for slacking off and not setting time aside for blogging therapy, but that's the beauty of it. I don't have to feel bad or apoligize here. This page is what I make it. If you are reading, I appreciate you more than you know! And I love you more than you can fathom.
It's about 9:30 on a Sunday night. I am trying to decide what to write... (5 minutes later)... I don't have enough time to go deep. I would like to get in bed some time tonight. So, I'm just going to give you a fact or random piece of information for every day that's passed by in November thus far. They've each held a challenge, a smile, a tear, a belly laugh with my best friend. And I've loved each and every one of them.
1. I bought myself a present on Saturday. Michael Buble's new Christmas CD. I'm in love.
2. I have an insanely stressful project in the works right now. I had to read Wuthering Heights. If you are ever faced with the choice of reading that book or spraying an angry lion in the eyes with pepperspray, pick the lion. You might die, but at lest you won't have to have read this ridiculous travesty of a book. Two more days and it's over!
3. My mom just called me from downstairs to ask what I was doing. She then asked if I would come downstairs and hang with her. I wouldn't trade moments like this for anything. She is my hero. I'm the luckiest girl
4. I've watched This is It three times this weekend. Three! It's been on TV twice and I watched it once in between. Nothing makes me happier than an MJ song. Nothing.
5. Earlier, when I put "5 minutes later", my next sentence really was written five minutes later. No lie.
6. Today, Kayla left for her first music educator's conference. I'm so proud of her and what she has decided to do with her life.
7. My last band competition, two weeks ago, was legit one of the most incredible days of my life. Once again, more to come on that later.
8. Cancer sucks.
9. My senior year is flying by extremely fast. Mixed emotions for sure.
10. I do my best thinking, feeling, and understanding at night. If previous lives really do exist, I think at one point I was a nocturnal animal. Stars make me happy.
11. I had no clue how much I missed this blog until I decided to write tonight. This always makes me feel ten pounds lighter.
12. I love Meredith Grey quotes. Let me rephrase: I love all quotes. But hers specifically.
13. I'm super excited about my LRYC fall semester concert coming up on Sunday. Lots of memorization to do this week.
There you have it! Can't wait to write again soon! Good night friend!
With Love,
Sarah
It's about 9:30 on a Sunday night. I am trying to decide what to write... (5 minutes later)... I don't have enough time to go deep. I would like to get in bed some time tonight. So, I'm just going to give you a fact or random piece of information for every day that's passed by in November thus far. They've each held a challenge, a smile, a tear, a belly laugh with my best friend. And I've loved each and every one of them.
1. I bought myself a present on Saturday. Michael Buble's new Christmas CD. I'm in love.
2. I have an insanely stressful project in the works right now. I had to read Wuthering Heights. If you are ever faced with the choice of reading that book or spraying an angry lion in the eyes with pepperspray, pick the lion. You might die, but at lest you won't have to have read this ridiculous travesty of a book. Two more days and it's over!
3. My mom just called me from downstairs to ask what I was doing. She then asked if I would come downstairs and hang with her. I wouldn't trade moments like this for anything. She is my hero. I'm the luckiest girl
4. I've watched This is It three times this weekend. Three! It's been on TV twice and I watched it once in between. Nothing makes me happier than an MJ song. Nothing.
5. Earlier, when I put "5 minutes later", my next sentence really was written five minutes later. No lie.
6. Today, Kayla left for her first music educator's conference. I'm so proud of her and what she has decided to do with her life.
7. My last band competition, two weeks ago, was legit one of the most incredible days of my life. Once again, more to come on that later.
8. Cancer sucks.
9. My senior year is flying by extremely fast. Mixed emotions for sure.
10. I do my best thinking, feeling, and understanding at night. If previous lives really do exist, I think at one point I was a nocturnal animal. Stars make me happy.
11. I had no clue how much I missed this blog until I decided to write tonight. This always makes me feel ten pounds lighter.
12. I love Meredith Grey quotes. Let me rephrase: I love all quotes. But hers specifically.
13. I'm super excited about my LRYC fall semester concert coming up on Sunday. Lots of memorization to do this week.
There you have it! Can't wait to write again soon! Good night friend!
With Love,
Sarah
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Dark and Light
Sitting here tonight, I am prepared to say with my sixteen year old knowledge that nothing in life is all bad, 100% terrible. Life has this funny way of presenting to us the shades of gray. The small portion of a terrible situation that allows us to breathe, sleep, function. Sometimes even laugh, smile, thrive, survive, and live amongst the jagged pieces of a broken situation.
No situation is all bad. You know why? Because God is always there. He is with us in the darkest dark, through the burning you get in your eyes when the light begins to reach you, and He holds our hand when we finally step into the open atmosphere we've been deprived of and craving.
You, my friend, are not alone. Please remember that you never have to go through anything lonely and isolated. Even when no one is around, close your eyes and pray to feel God's presence. He will come when you call. He loves you just that much. Praying for peace in the hearts of anyone struggling tonight. This one's for you.
With Love,
Sarah
No situation is all bad. You know why? Because God is always there. He is with us in the darkest dark, through the burning you get in your eyes when the light begins to reach you, and He holds our hand when we finally step into the open atmosphere we've been deprived of and craving.
You, my friend, are not alone. Please remember that you never have to go through anything lonely and isolated. Even when no one is around, close your eyes and pray to feel God's presence. He will come when you call. He loves you just that much. Praying for peace in the hearts of anyone struggling tonight. This one's for you.
With Love,
Sarah
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Love Letter to Sixteen
Sixteen,
I can honestly say you have shown me the best year of my life. I met you on the very first day of my Junior year, my very first uninterrupted "normal" year of high school. I woke up at 6:00 a.m. and greeted you sleepy eyed and ready for whatever this year would bring. I entered the halls of Fred T. Foard feeling already behind. Everyone my age was already adjusted, I was far from comfortable. Marching band made the transition a thousand times easier. Us band kids have a built in family, an automatic support group. I am really grateful for my band siblings, who helped me out and made this year as easy and normal as possible. We enjoyed a successful season marching our show A Winter Fantasy. As much as we were glad to have a break, we were sad to see the season end. Sixteen taught me how to be part of something bigger than myself. Sixteen also saw me get my permit, then full provisional license. Sweet, sweet freedom.
Two days after Christmas, the McNeil girls traveled to southern California to cheer on Kayla as she marched in the Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena on the first day of 2011. Sixteen took me to the other side of the country, and even got me on my first roller coaster. I guess you could say it thrilled me. During the second semester of school, sixteen showed me how messy life can get. I was more stressed over one project in english than I have been over any other assignemnt in my school career. Sixteen taught me to hold on a little bit longer, hard times don't last forever. Sixteen took me to NYC twice, once with the band and once on vacation. We saw the gLee live tour in New Jersey, then spent a day in the city where we saw Daniel Radcliffe perform in How to Succeed in Buisness on broadway. Sixteen saw me yell and scream and make a fool of myself in front of famous people. Good times.
Most importantly, sixteen has seen me cancer free for the longest amount of time since my diagnosis. I have not had an entire year without kicking back with cancer since I was twelve years old. Every three months, sixteen saw me stress over scans but then celebrate with no evidence of disease results!
Thank you. This year has been an absolute dream. I've been granted all of the things that really matter. Family. Friends. Health. Love. What more could a girl ask for? Sixteen will always hold a special place in my heart. Here's to another year and all that seventeen will bring.
Love Always,
Sarah
I can honestly say you have shown me the best year of my life. I met you on the very first day of my Junior year, my very first uninterrupted "normal" year of high school. I woke up at 6:00 a.m. and greeted you sleepy eyed and ready for whatever this year would bring. I entered the halls of Fred T. Foard feeling already behind. Everyone my age was already adjusted, I was far from comfortable. Marching band made the transition a thousand times easier. Us band kids have a built in family, an automatic support group. I am really grateful for my band siblings, who helped me out and made this year as easy and normal as possible. We enjoyed a successful season marching our show A Winter Fantasy. As much as we were glad to have a break, we were sad to see the season end. Sixteen taught me how to be part of something bigger than myself. Sixteen also saw me get my permit, then full provisional license. Sweet, sweet freedom.
Two days after Christmas, the McNeil girls traveled to southern California to cheer on Kayla as she marched in the Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena on the first day of 2011. Sixteen took me to the other side of the country, and even got me on my first roller coaster. I guess you could say it thrilled me. During the second semester of school, sixteen showed me how messy life can get. I was more stressed over one project in english than I have been over any other assignemnt in my school career. Sixteen taught me to hold on a little bit longer, hard times don't last forever. Sixteen took me to NYC twice, once with the band and once on vacation. We saw the gLee live tour in New Jersey, then spent a day in the city where we saw Daniel Radcliffe perform in How to Succeed in Buisness on broadway. Sixteen saw me yell and scream and make a fool of myself in front of famous people. Good times.
Most importantly, sixteen has seen me cancer free for the longest amount of time since my diagnosis. I have not had an entire year without kicking back with cancer since I was twelve years old. Every three months, sixteen saw me stress over scans but then celebrate with no evidence of disease results!
Thank you. This year has been an absolute dream. I've been granted all of the things that really matter. Family. Friends. Health. Love. What more could a girl ask for? Sixteen will always hold a special place in my heart. Here's to another year and all that seventeen will bring.
Love Always,
Sarah
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Family Fun
Hello friends! How has your week been? It has been a fun, eventful week at the McNeil household. We were excited to have our Maryland family and Nana down to visit for the week. The days before our family's arrival, the McNeil girls worked hard to create what we affectionately call "The Fake House." You know, the house that is mopped, vaccumed, dusted, windexed, and picked up to perfection only to be destroyed moments after company arrives. It was well worth it. We prefer the "lived in look" any day.
On Tuesday, the girls enjoyed dinner with Sarah L. and then went to band open house with me. Crystal, an orchestra director at two elementary schools in MD, was right at home in our band room and I was glad to have her there. Thursday, we went on an impromptu trip to Carowinds. Crystal, Cheryl, Jonathan, and I enjoyed riding roller coasters for six hours straight while Aunt Jami, Kayla, Mom, and Nana relaxed at the water park. Finally, on Friday the girls treated Jonathan to lunch at Tony's where he successfully stuffed himself full of the greasy pizza that he loves when he comes to NC. Jonathan has to be one of my favorite people ever, give the kid a pizza and the History Channel and he is a happy camper. The girls went home, dressed up, and headed to Charlotte for Mamma Mia. It was great and we had ABBA sing alongs on the way home.
Inevitably, the sad day came when everyone packs up their suitcases and embarks on the 9 hour journey back to Maryland. We are now wading through the sadness that always comes when we have to leave one another. We always joke that when Kayla and I are through with college, Mom will move back to Maryland where she was born and we will be forced to follow her. If it weren't for our lovely life here in Hickory, we would do it in a heartbreat. I am completely thankful for my family, and how lucky we are to live apart but still be so close. Most people are surprised to hear we make the long drive for every single high school and college graduation, and with six of us kids that makes a lot! But, we wouldn't miss it for the world.
So, until we meet again at Thanksgiving we will write letters, call, email, facebook, text, twitter, and hold eachother close in our hearts. Until next time.....
With Love,
Sarah
On Tuesday, the girls enjoyed dinner with Sarah L. and then went to band open house with me. Crystal, an orchestra director at two elementary schools in MD, was right at home in our band room and I was glad to have her there. Thursday, we went on an impromptu trip to Carowinds. Crystal, Cheryl, Jonathan, and I enjoyed riding roller coasters for six hours straight while Aunt Jami, Kayla, Mom, and Nana relaxed at the water park. Finally, on Friday the girls treated Jonathan to lunch at Tony's where he successfully stuffed himself full of the greasy pizza that he loves when he comes to NC. Jonathan has to be one of my favorite people ever, give the kid a pizza and the History Channel and he is a happy camper. The girls went home, dressed up, and headed to Charlotte for Mamma Mia. It was great and we had ABBA sing alongs on the way home.
Inevitably, the sad day came when everyone packs up their suitcases and embarks on the 9 hour journey back to Maryland. We are now wading through the sadness that always comes when we have to leave one another. We always joke that when Kayla and I are through with college, Mom will move back to Maryland where she was born and we will be forced to follow her. If it weren't for our lovely life here in Hickory, we would do it in a heartbreat. I am completely thankful for my family, and how lucky we are to live apart but still be so close. Most people are surprised to hear we make the long drive for every single high school and college graduation, and with six of us kids that makes a lot! But, we wouldn't miss it for the world.
So, until we meet again at Thanksgiving we will write letters, call, email, facebook, text, twitter, and hold eachother close in our hearts. Until next time.....
With Love,
Sarah
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Night Time Clarity
Tonight, I walked outside and fell in love with the sky. The moon was big and bright, the stars that shown throgh the protective cover of the clouds were shining. The things that weren't illuminated by the moon lay against the dark background, looking two dimensional. It was as if I were a character in a pop up book. The mountain that I can see from my window looked smaller somehow, like a construction paper project against the night sky.
Maybe this world isn't as big as I thought. Becuase tonight when it was just me, the sky, and the chirping crickets, the atmosphere of this beautiful planet shrank down to a size I can understand. I think it knew I needed some help understanding. I didn't feel so small and lost. I didn't feel overwhelmed. I felt at home and at peace. The fuzzy confusion in my head floated away into the warm July night air, and a sort of clarity was left behind. And tonight, I am thankful for God's everlasting love for me and for this beautiful earth he created in seven days. I am still Lord, and I am yours.
Maybe this world isn't as big as I thought. Becuase tonight when it was just me, the sky, and the chirping crickets, the atmosphere of this beautiful planet shrank down to a size I can understand. I think it knew I needed some help understanding. I didn't feel so small and lost. I didn't feel overwhelmed. I felt at home and at peace. The fuzzy confusion in my head floated away into the warm July night air, and a sort of clarity was left behind. And tonight, I am thankful for God's everlasting love for me and for this beautiful earth he created in seven days. I am still Lord, and I am yours.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Tiny Bursts of Inspiration
Hey there bloggers, anyone there? I can hardly blame you if you're not, I definitely haven't been present for quite a while. Not cool, you may say? I totes agree! I will work on making more time for this, because it honestly saves my life sometimes. Remember how in my very first blog post I told you that I am a complete night owl? Case in point, it is 2:30 in the morning and I am on the couch writing and watching You've Got Mail. If you know me at all, you probably know of my completely inappropriate age gap crush on Tom Hanks. What can I say? Sometimes a girl can't help it!
Lately I've been having an increasingly inspired view of the world. As I look around this beautiful place that we get to call home for however long this life grants us, I am always amazed and often inspired by the simplests of snapshots. You know how when you were little, as you walked outside promising not to step on a crack in the concrete, fearing that some awful malady would strike your mom's back at any moment? Have you ever noticed that in between the cracks of the concrete sometimes grass can grow? Against all odds, these sprigs of grass have worked to adapt and flourish where no one thought they could. Maybe I noticed that to remind me that we really do control our own success. The best thing you can do with the doubt of others is turn it into ambition to realize strenght in yourself that you didn't know was there.
I made a memo note in my cell phone a few weeks ago to remind me to write something titled "I would rather talk to a piece of paper." The funny thing about it is that the blog may never get written because I postponed and lost it. Lost the inspiration and lost the idea of what I intended to write about. I am assuming I was probably having a hard day, sick of people and their constant cynicism. Their selfishness, shallowness, and unperfectness. On this particular night, I would have rather been talking to a piece of paper, craving it's blank openness and it's infinite ability to recieve without taking. However, apparently I would have rather been sleeping because I went to bed without writing what I knew needed to be written down. Finding this note in my phone a few days ago reminded me to follow my instincts. If it was important enough to put a memo in my phone, shouldn't I have just written it while it was on my heart? Follow your heart, Sarah. Your spirit knows you better than your mind does.
As I learn these seemingly small lessons and take in these tiny bursts of inspiration, I am realizing that these are the things that matter. Take a note of every lesson you learn. Write it down, put it in your pocket, because your mind will eventually push it aside to make room for something new. Everything that enters your life, comes for a reason. I noticed the grass that day for a reason, wrote that memo in my phone for a reason. Is this making sense? If it's not, my apoligies. It's three in the morning and I'm on a Tom Hanks high.
Good night, friend. Thanks for listening.
With Love,
Sarah
Lately I've been having an increasingly inspired view of the world. As I look around this beautiful place that we get to call home for however long this life grants us, I am always amazed and often inspired by the simplests of snapshots. You know how when you were little, as you walked outside promising not to step on a crack in the concrete, fearing that some awful malady would strike your mom's back at any moment? Have you ever noticed that in between the cracks of the concrete sometimes grass can grow? Against all odds, these sprigs of grass have worked to adapt and flourish where no one thought they could. Maybe I noticed that to remind me that we really do control our own success. The best thing you can do with the doubt of others is turn it into ambition to realize strenght in yourself that you didn't know was there.
I made a memo note in my cell phone a few weeks ago to remind me to write something titled "I would rather talk to a piece of paper." The funny thing about it is that the blog may never get written because I postponed and lost it. Lost the inspiration and lost the idea of what I intended to write about. I am assuming I was probably having a hard day, sick of people and their constant cynicism. Their selfishness, shallowness, and unperfectness. On this particular night, I would have rather been talking to a piece of paper, craving it's blank openness and it's infinite ability to recieve without taking. However, apparently I would have rather been sleeping because I went to bed without writing what I knew needed to be written down. Finding this note in my phone a few days ago reminded me to follow my instincts. If it was important enough to put a memo in my phone, shouldn't I have just written it while it was on my heart? Follow your heart, Sarah. Your spirit knows you better than your mind does.
As I learn these seemingly small lessons and take in these tiny bursts of inspiration, I am realizing that these are the things that matter. Take a note of every lesson you learn. Write it down, put it in your pocket, because your mind will eventually push it aside to make room for something new. Everything that enters your life, comes for a reason. I noticed the grass that day for a reason, wrote that memo in my phone for a reason. Is this making sense? If it's not, my apoligies. It's three in the morning and I'm on a Tom Hanks high.
Good night, friend. Thanks for listening.
With Love,
Sarah
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Girls That Have My Heart
It's days like this that have me convinced I'm one of the luckiest girls in the world. What have I done, you might ask? Not a whole lot. I got to enjoy the beautiful wonder that is sleeping in. I made lunch for Arielle and myself while Kayla was helping at Blackburn. A trip to the mall ended the day where I convinced my sister to buy an adorable shirt. A girl as beautiful as her really should wear something other than a band shirt every day! It's not the activity that made this day great, not the pearl studded scoop necked purchase from Charlotte Russe. The fact that I got to spend it with two of the earth's finest citizens is so amazing to me. Arielle Goralski has my heart. She has seen more of me than any one else, save my family and my best friend Sarah who braved the trip to Levine Children's after my femur resection surgery. Brave girl! I was completely out of it! All I have to remember her trip is what my mom told me and the bear she brought me that sits on my shelf, a lovely reminder of how special she is.
Arielle is this amazing mix of funny and sweet, beautiful and completely messy. She is the only person outside of my family that ever went with us to a chemo treatment. She could not have picked a worse day either! So so so so so sick, running from the infusion room to the x-ray lab trying to figure out why I was having so much pain. Here, my ortho surgeon shoved an x-ray under her nose and explained, at lenght, what my surgery was exactly. Gotta love surgeons! What does this girl do? Vomit and run away? No, she smiles at exactly the right times, sheds just one tear when I am falling apart later that day. Arielle has been this amazing blessing in our lives. She was there for Kayla when she was struggling with a sister with cancer. And for that, I will always be grateful. I always worried that Kayla was not getting to have the senior year she deserved. But, Arielle kept that beautiful smile on her face.
We love you Arielle! Thanks for everything! You make life a thousand times sunnier!
With Love,
Sarah
Arielle is this amazing mix of funny and sweet, beautiful and completely messy. She is the only person outside of my family that ever went with us to a chemo treatment. She could not have picked a worse day either! So so so so so sick, running from the infusion room to the x-ray lab trying to figure out why I was having so much pain. Here, my ortho surgeon shoved an x-ray under her nose and explained, at lenght, what my surgery was exactly. Gotta love surgeons! What does this girl do? Vomit and run away? No, she smiles at exactly the right times, sheds just one tear when I am falling apart later that day. Arielle has been this amazing blessing in our lives. She was there for Kayla when she was struggling with a sister with cancer. And for that, I will always be grateful. I always worried that Kayla was not getting to have the senior year she deserved. But, Arielle kept that beautiful smile on her face.
We love you Arielle! Thanks for everything! You make life a thousand times sunnier!
With Love,
Sarah
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
In the Face of a Stranger
I have always known cancer happened to me for a reason. I have always been sure that God is using me for His purpose. And today He was gracious enough to pull back the curtain and give me a glimpse of what is possible now that my journey with cancer is through and my new life has begun.
My mom and I went to the Nail Studio to get pedicures before leaving on our trip to New York City with the band. As I sat under the dryer, the girl across from me asked when I finishd my treatments. I took a split second to rack my brain and try to remember if I knew this person before. She was a pretty girl with blonde hair, and I knew she was a criminal justice major from hearing her talk to the girl doing her nails. I quickly replied that I finished treatmetns a year ago this month. She told me I did a great job with my wig, asking if it was from Locks of Love. "No, it's synthetic and from Chic Wigs." She told me it looks very nice. I smiled and said thank you, a little surprised at her assumed knowledge of my story. Maybe the foot long scar reaching from my knee to my hip gave it away, peering out from underneath my black mesh shorts. She asked what kind of cancer I had, recieving a reply of Osteosarcoma, pediatric bone cancer. Seconds later, she told me she recently lost her dad to thyroid cancer. "You must be so brave. I saw how tough my dad had to be and I can't imagine what it was like for you. And your mom." My heart broke for her as I told her I would keep her family in my prayers and tried to convey in words the intense compassion I felt for her. As she left, she told me to stay strong and keep fighting. I replied with an "It was so good meeting you. Your family will be in my thoughts."
If I could go back to that moment, I would say so much more. I would ask her name and where she lives. I would tell her that I will fight every day of my life for people like her dad. I may never see her again, but will always remember her as the first stranger I've really connected with over our similar struggles. I hope that her meeting me and intuitively knowing what I had been through was a blessing for her. I know she must have felt a twinge of sorrow, wishing her dad could have done as well as I have. I felt that same sadness. I was reminded today of how blessed I am and the unique gift that has been given to me. Maybe cancer isn't so bad after all. Maybe cancer is just a blessing wearing a really ugly costume, a ridiculous hat or a pair of tube socks that peer out from under it's acid wash jeans. Tonight, I am grateful for the suffering and knowledge. I am grateful that today I got to share someone's heartbreak and hopefully bring a semblence of hope back into their life. A much needed reminder that God has something more in store for me. All this revealed to me in the face of a stranger.
My mom and I went to the Nail Studio to get pedicures before leaving on our trip to New York City with the band. As I sat under the dryer, the girl across from me asked when I finishd my treatments. I took a split second to rack my brain and try to remember if I knew this person before. She was a pretty girl with blonde hair, and I knew she was a criminal justice major from hearing her talk to the girl doing her nails. I quickly replied that I finished treatmetns a year ago this month. She told me I did a great job with my wig, asking if it was from Locks of Love. "No, it's synthetic and from Chic Wigs." She told me it looks very nice. I smiled and said thank you, a little surprised at her assumed knowledge of my story. Maybe the foot long scar reaching from my knee to my hip gave it away, peering out from underneath my black mesh shorts. She asked what kind of cancer I had, recieving a reply of Osteosarcoma, pediatric bone cancer. Seconds later, she told me she recently lost her dad to thyroid cancer. "You must be so brave. I saw how tough my dad had to be and I can't imagine what it was like for you. And your mom." My heart broke for her as I told her I would keep her family in my prayers and tried to convey in words the intense compassion I felt for her. As she left, she told me to stay strong and keep fighting. I replied with an "It was so good meeting you. Your family will be in my thoughts."
If I could go back to that moment, I would say so much more. I would ask her name and where she lives. I would tell her that I will fight every day of my life for people like her dad. I may never see her again, but will always remember her as the first stranger I've really connected with over our similar struggles. I hope that her meeting me and intuitively knowing what I had been through was a blessing for her. I know she must have felt a twinge of sorrow, wishing her dad could have done as well as I have. I felt that same sadness. I was reminded today of how blessed I am and the unique gift that has been given to me. Maybe cancer isn't so bad after all. Maybe cancer is just a blessing wearing a really ugly costume, a ridiculous hat or a pair of tube socks that peer out from under it's acid wash jeans. Tonight, I am grateful for the suffering and knowledge. I am grateful that today I got to share someone's heartbreak and hopefully bring a semblence of hope back into their life. A much needed reminder that God has something more in store for me. All this revealed to me in the face of a stranger.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
I'm Still Here
Hey bloggers! Long time, no see! Life is crazy hectic as always. The rare free moments that I have are spent either eating or sleeping. And these lovely moments are few and far in between. But, life is beautiful and I am reminded every day. A longer update is soon to come. I have been given an awesome opportunity to be the example in my cousin Jimmy's up coming sermon. He asked me to write a piece on these past three years. When I finish it, I will post it on here. Hope you are getting ready for a great week. Take a second every night to reflect. And please please please don't forget to count your blessings. Until later.....
With Love,
Sarah
With Love,
Sarah
Friday, March 4, 2011
The Gift of Life
The Red Cross was at our school today taking donations. I watched as my classmates, one by one, left class and went out to the trailers. They came back a few minutes later, some looking white and flushed, some looking just as they did before. To some this is just a compensatory or kind act, others just a few sweet minutes out of class. But, to me this is a beautiful thing. This is my life. Some people don't realize just how important it is. It is rare for a cancer patient to escape treatment without some sort of transfusion, whether it be blood or platelets. It is so important for these kids. It is often the reason we are able to make it through the harsh chemotherapy. I know from experience how it feels to have low hemoglobin. Fatigue, shortness of breath, headaches, paleness. You name it, I felt it. A blood transfusion is a beautiful thing. It is excrutiatingly long process, depending on how many units you get. It usually takes four to six hours to infuse, not including hydration and pre medication. The positive thing is that your energy is almost instantly returned and you can literally watch the color return to your face. It's the best energy drink you will ever have. I am writing this because if I can help even just one person realize how important it is to donate, I will feel I have done my job.
Being on the recieving end of a blood product is an incredibly humbling experience. I do not belong to just myself anymore. A small part of me belongs to every person who has ever given a pint of blood. A huge part of me belongs to the people who so selflessly donated and whose blood now coarses through my veins every day. I will never know whose blood I recieved. Life is not racist or sexist, it doesn't care about intellectual levels or social statuses. I can only be thankful for the kindness of complete strangers who will never know how much their gift of life means to kids like me. I can only live this life that they have played a part in saving to make a difference, to raise awareness, and to be someone's miracle like they have been to me.
Being on the recieving end of a blood product is an incredibly humbling experience. I do not belong to just myself anymore. A small part of me belongs to every person who has ever given a pint of blood. A huge part of me belongs to the people who so selflessly donated and whose blood now coarses through my veins every day. I will never know whose blood I recieved. Life is not racist or sexist, it doesn't care about intellectual levels or social statuses. I can only be thankful for the kindness of complete strangers who will never know how much their gift of life means to kids like me. I can only live this life that they have played a part in saving to make a difference, to raise awareness, and to be someone's miracle like they have been to me.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Celebrate Love
It's February 13th, which means tomorrow's February 14th, which makes it Valentine's Day! Now, overall public opinion of this holiday is not good. Most people feel like it's a holiday created by Hallmark to sell more greeting cards and that jewelry stores and florists enjoy taking our money at this time each year. I feel very differently. You don't have to buy a diamond ring, or a dozen red roses, or a Hallmark greeting card to celebrate Valentine's Day. You just have to celebrate love. Hug your best friend or tell your mom how much she means. Smile at someone in the hallway at school or ask someone how their day is going. And no, you don't have to have a boyfriend or girlfriend to go out to dinner with. Go with your sister, or neighbor. Go to the movies with your best friend. Don't sit at home feeling sorry for your single relationship status or complain that you're never going to get married. It will happen when it's meant to happen. And, when you meet that special person every Valentine's Day will be an opportunity to remind them how special they are, how you dreamed of the years that you could celebrate February 14th with them from that time forward. Make it count because another February 14th is never guaranteed. Let this day remind you to tell the people you love that you love them. Whatever your circumstance may be, celebrate love!
"You'd think that people would have had enough of silly love songs
But look around me and I see it isn't so
Some people wanna fill the world with silly love songs
And what's wrong with that?
Love doesn't come in a minute, sometimes it doesn't come at all
I only know that when I'm in it, it isn't silly at all"
"You'd think that people would have had enough of silly love songs
But look around me and I see it isn't so
Some people wanna fill the world with silly love songs
And what's wrong with that?
Love doesn't come in a minute, sometimes it doesn't come at all
I only know that when I'm in it, it isn't silly at all"
Monday, January 31, 2011
Not Enough Hours
Ever feel like there aren't enough hours in the day? I get home at 3:30 and start automatically on my homework. Maybe if I get it done early, I can have some "me" time tonight. Maybe if I go ahead and study now, I can chill later. It's now 9:00 at night and I am just now winding down. Homework, check. Dinner, check. Shower, check. Okay, time to breathe. I'm sitting in my living room, watching Cake Boss with my mom (craving a piece of chocolate cake the size of a freaking continent) and I am wondering how we can slow down time, or create more. What's the magic in the number twenty-four? Why not twenty-nine or thirty-three? I think God thought this through. I think he decided that twenty-four hours was the perfect amount of time. Just enough time to laugh a little and smile a lot. Just enough time to comfort a neighbor that is going through the unthinkable. Just enough time to cry a tear of compassion for someone and then take that energy and turn it into something positive. Just enough time to sleep and get ready to do it again. I think twenty-four hours is just enough.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Come Together
The United States and it's citizens have an unbelievable ability to come together through tragedy and come out stronger and smarter, more resolved in our fight to defend our Constitution and the foundation of the country we live in. In our short history as a nation, we have felt and mourned many tragedies and heartbreaks. September 11, 2001. The most horrifying act of violence ever shown towards our nation. Americans everywhere watched in tears the news coverage of New York City, engulfed in smoke and swallowed up in grief. We no longer felt safe. The Virginia Tech shootings. The deadliest peace time shooting incident by a single gunman in US history. 32 killed and even more wounded. Families of college kids being contacted and told that their child had been hurt or killed on the college campus that students once felt was safe. Parents hearing the breaking news on the TV or radio that the college campus their child explores their first adventure without them on was ravaged by a gunman, no way of knowing if their child was safe. The Challenger Space Shuttle diasaster. Millions of Americans watched live as the Challenger Shuttle took off and broke apart 73 seconds into flight. All 7 flight members, including the first participant in the Teachers in Space program, died in the crash. Ronald Reagon gave a speech that night, stating: "We will never forget them, nor the last time we saw them, this morning, as they prepared for their journey and waved goodbye and 'slipped the surly bonds of Earth' to 'touch the face of God."
Today we find ourselves mourning the loss of the lives taken in Tuscon, Arizona last Saturday. Representative Gabrielle Giffords was assssinated in a grocery store parking lot during one of her Congress on Your Corner campaigns. 20 people are shot, and 6 are killed in the rampage. The Constitution has been ridiculed, and everything that makes our country a democracy has been failed. Ironically, just one week prior, Rep. Giffords stood on the floor of the Congress and read the first ammendment. Our right to free speach and peaceful petition. Our government has been rattled by this mindless act of hatred and we find ourselves confused. Confused how a peaceful gathering of politically concerned citizens can turn into such a tragedy. Today, president Obama is scheduled to make a speech at a memorial to take place in Tuscon. He will most likely eulogize the lives lost, while reminding us that we, as a country, have to be better than this. Have to be bigger, and smarter. But, for the families affected and mourning loved ones, nothing can dull the pain of what has happened. So, I will continue to pray for them. Pray that they feel God's presence in their life and that soon the numb shock will begin to wear away and they will start the healing process. Pray for Rep. Gifford's continued healing. I will also pray for our country. Pray that we do become stronger and more united. Under God. Indivisible. With liberty and justice for all.
Today we find ourselves mourning the loss of the lives taken in Tuscon, Arizona last Saturday. Representative Gabrielle Giffords was assssinated in a grocery store parking lot during one of her Congress on Your Corner campaigns. 20 people are shot, and 6 are killed in the rampage. The Constitution has been ridiculed, and everything that makes our country a democracy has been failed. Ironically, just one week prior, Rep. Giffords stood on the floor of the Congress and read the first ammendment. Our right to free speach and peaceful petition. Our government has been rattled by this mindless act of hatred and we find ourselves confused. Confused how a peaceful gathering of politically concerned citizens can turn into such a tragedy. Today, president Obama is scheduled to make a speech at a memorial to take place in Tuscon. He will most likely eulogize the lives lost, while reminding us that we, as a country, have to be better than this. Have to be bigger, and smarter. But, for the families affected and mourning loved ones, nothing can dull the pain of what has happened. So, I will continue to pray for them. Pray that they feel God's presence in their life and that soon the numb shock will begin to wear away and they will start the healing process. Pray for Rep. Gifford's continued healing. I will also pray for our country. Pray that we do become stronger and more united. Under God. Indivisible. With liberty and justice for all.
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