I have always known cancer happened to me for a reason. I have always been sure that God is using me for His purpose. And today He was gracious enough to pull back the curtain and give me a glimpse of what is possible now that my journey with cancer is through and my new life has begun.
My mom and I went to the Nail Studio to get pedicures before leaving on our trip to New York City with the band. As I sat under the dryer, the girl across from me asked when I finishd my treatments. I took a split second to rack my brain and try to remember if I knew this person before. She was a pretty girl with blonde hair, and I knew she was a criminal justice major from hearing her talk to the girl doing her nails. I quickly replied that I finished treatmetns a year ago this month. She told me I did a great job with my wig, asking if it was from Locks of Love. "No, it's synthetic and from Chic Wigs." She told me it looks very nice. I smiled and said thank you, a little surprised at her assumed knowledge of my story. Maybe the foot long scar reaching from my knee to my hip gave it away, peering out from underneath my black mesh shorts. She asked what kind of cancer I had, recieving a reply of Osteosarcoma, pediatric bone cancer. Seconds later, she told me she recently lost her dad to thyroid cancer. "You must be so brave. I saw how tough my dad had to be and I can't imagine what it was like for you. And your mom." My heart broke for her as I told her I would keep her family in my prayers and tried to convey in words the intense compassion I felt for her. As she left, she told me to stay strong and keep fighting. I replied with an "It was so good meeting you. Your family will be in my thoughts."
If I could go back to that moment, I would say so much more. I would ask her name and where she lives. I would tell her that I will fight every day of my life for people like her dad. I may never see her again, but will always remember her as the first stranger I've really connected with over our similar struggles. I hope that her meeting me and intuitively knowing what I had been through was a blessing for her. I know she must have felt a twinge of sorrow, wishing her dad could have done as well as I have. I felt that same sadness. I was reminded today of how blessed I am and the unique gift that has been given to me. Maybe cancer isn't so bad after all. Maybe cancer is just a blessing wearing a really ugly costume, a ridiculous hat or a pair of tube socks that peer out from under it's acid wash jeans. Tonight, I am grateful for the suffering and knowledge. I am grateful that today I got to share someone's heartbreak and hopefully bring a semblence of hope back into their life. A much needed reminder that God has something more in store for me. All this revealed to me in the face of a stranger.
