One of Those Weeks

I am exhausted. I have been so stressed this week, I'm pretty sure it's taken a few years off my life. This is an emotion that I struggle with. I am so incredibly blessed, how dare I grumble about such small insignificant things. I have trouble justifying being miserable over a failed math test and a stressful therapy regimin. But, at the same time, it's how I feel. Period. I'm really, really tired.
I feel like I have so much more going on than the average kid my age. It's like... they get to go home after school, do their homework, and go to bed. But, I go home after school, do homework, physical therapy, and deal with whatever emotional after schock of having a serious illness that I am experiencing at the moment. Some days are good, some days are not. I just wonder if I will ever be able to wake up, go through a day, and lay down without thinking about it. I would love to be able to get up, get dressed, walk around school without a crutch, and not be stared at. That would be great. But, that wouldn't be me. I am different, but the same. I think people that don't know me have preconcieved notions about my life. Maybe all they know about me is that I had cancer. But, cancer dosn't define my life. It's a part of my story, and a huge event that has formed and molded me into who I am.
If I have influenced even one person in a positive way, or brought light and love into their life through my ordeal, I consider it worth while. It is such a humbling feeling knowing that God is using you to further His kingdom, and to be an example. So, even though I may grumble or complain some days, when I lay down I close my eyes at night I ask God for strength. I ask Him to help me be better the next day, to be more realistic. And I always feel this calm in my heart, because I know the creator of the universe loves me. What more could you want?

With Love,
Sarah